Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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