Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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