Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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