i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
