Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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