ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We were destined to go to rehab together
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
