I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just found puke in my bra..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize