We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
