my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think people are normalizing furries
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
