I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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