I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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