I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
