White coat. Heels.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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