i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she smelled like a LAN party
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
