Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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