we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
