If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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