Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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