I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I love you.
Bad choice
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
