YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
