I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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