I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
