She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
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We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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