I faked an abortion last night.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize
