my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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