No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
