I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
