you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
