Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
