last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize