Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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