grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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