think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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