I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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