She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
