I heard we made out
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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