Cold hands, warm shart.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
