i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize