I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
