Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
