It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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