clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
