we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
