dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
