So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We named our party play list daddy issues
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
