he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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