there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
