It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
