READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
my liver is dry heaving
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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