An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dicks are not precious.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
