you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
