we have pet lesbian snakes
I want to make a zoo with you.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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