Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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