My cat gives me a boner
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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