hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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