Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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