If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
