Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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