apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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