fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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