I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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