ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
no you cant smoke seaweed
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
