Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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